A Dog's Plea | A Man and His Dog | Self-Evident Truths about Pets |
| Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read. ----Groucho Marx |
| If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. ----Unknown |
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -- Rita Rudner |
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Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. -- Unknown |
| Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. -- Gene Hill |
| In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown |
| To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. -- Aldous Huxley |
| A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. -- Robert Benchley |
| Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. -- Sue Murphy |
| I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. -- August Strindberg |
| No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. -- Fran Lebowitz |
| Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! -- Anne Tyler |
| "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein |
| "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber |
| "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein |
| "In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan |
| "Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers |
| "When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey |
| "Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." Unknown |
| "Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -- Unknown |
| "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley |
| "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings |
| "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain |
| "Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane." -- Smiley Blanton |
| "I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." -- John Steinbeck |
| "Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you." -- Unknown |
| "Life
is like a dog sled team........if you aren't the lead dog, the scenery
never changes."
A Dog's Plea | A Man and His Dog | Self-Evident Truths about Pets | Top Excerpts from a Dog's Diary | Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
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A Man and His Dog
A man and
his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying
He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they "No.
We're just happy that they screen out the folks who'd leave their
Author
Unknown
A Dog's Plea | A Man and His Dog | Self-Evident Truths about Pets | Top Excerpts from a Dog's Diary | Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
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A Dog's Plea - Author Unknownbreak my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows, your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you would have me learn. Speak to me often, for you voice is the world's sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep falls upon my waiting ear. Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed to bitter elements. I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth. Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding, to walk by your side, and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life, should your life be in danger. And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun. Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hand.
A Dog's Plea | A Man and His Dog | Self-Evident Truths about Pets | Top Excerpts from a Dog's Diary | Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
A dog thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . they must be Gods! A cat thinks:
Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me . . . I must be a God!
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SELF-EVIDENT TRUTHS ABOUT PETSA dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong,always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Dog's have owners. Cat's have staff.
Cats believe they are God.
Dogs shed, cats shred.
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
People that hate cats will come back as dogs in their next life.
We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: Why do humans keep urinating into their water bowls? A Dog's Plea | A Man and His Dog | Self-Evident Truths about Pets | Top Excerpts from a Dog's Diary | Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
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EXCERPTS
FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY
752 - my captors continue
to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
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EXCERPTS
FROM A DOG'S
DIARY Day
number 180
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| The reason a dog has so many
friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. --- Anonymous |
| Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. --- Roger Caras |
| If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. --- Will Rogers |
| There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. --- Ben Williams |
| Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. --- Robert A. Heinlein |
| The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. --- Andy Rooney |
| We give dogs time we can
spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. --- M. Acklam |
| Dogs love their friends and
bite their enemies, quite unlike people who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. --- Sigmund Freud |
| Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. --- Franklin P. Jones |
